Ever wonder how different parenting styles affect children?

We did a deep dive into the four major parenting styles—authoritative, permissive, attachment, and uninvolved — and broke down our findings in this guide. Here, we explain all four of these parenting styles, plus a few more, and the specific pros and cons of each.

By reading this, we hope you’ll discover what type of parent you are. Believe it or not, being a “chill” parent isn’t an actual style — who would’ve thought! And if you’re reading this, you may even discover tips on how to adjust your parenting style.

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Authoritarian parenting style

Brace yourself, we’re starting with the most intense style of parenting. That’s right — authoritarian parenting. This is the strictest approach. The authoritarian parent demands respect and expects obedience without question. When the children don't meet these high expectations, there are usually consequences. Sheesh, sounds intense right..? 

These parents aren't very understanding about tantrums or children acting out because they're overly tired. Such behaviors will be seen as defiance and reprimanded (as we write this we’re thinking of our children demanding to watch Trolls for the 5th time — and alas, we listen).  

If you hadn't noticed, these expectations don't exactly resemble typical child behavior. In other words, authoritarian parents unrealistically expect their children not to act like children.

The result of authoritarian parenting

In a way, authoritarian parents kind of get what they hoped for. That is, their children tend to be very obedient and well behaved — at first, anyway. However, this parenting style could cause children to feel undermined, even oppressed. Overall, we can’t say it’s our favorite parenting style.  

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Authoritative parenting style

Authoritative parenting is basically a slightly more lenient and understanding version of the authoritarian style. These parents still expect obedience, sometimes without question. But they also want to make sure their children know why these rules and expectations are important.

Authoritative discipline does more than simply penalizing the children for infractions. It involves coaching, guidance, and logical punishments that "fit the crime" so to speak. For example, "If you don't finish your chicken, you can't have any ice cream." Or, if you’re in our home “If you play the Frozen soundtrack one more time...well, actually, we like that music too.”

Also, instead of unwaveringly enforcing the rules, they understand that certain situations require adjusting their tactics. For instance, they'll be more lenient in regard to tantrums if the child is sick and not feeling well.

The result of authoritative parenting

This style is a healthy adjustment of the authoritarian style. The children learn obedience without developing problems later. They also feel very cared for and learn empathy.

Permissive parenting style

Permissive parenting is the exact opposite of authoritarian. These parents are kind and loving to their children, yet very reluctant to set and enforce any rules. They don't want to do anything to stifle their children or make them unhappy. Thus, children of permissive parents are rarely if ever reprimanded and basically do whatever they want.

They eat what they want (think cheddar bunnies for breakfast), when they want, and set their own bedtime. They don't usually have chores to do and may be allowed to run around unsupervised. Permissive parents see themselves as more of a friend to their child than an enforcer of rules.

The result of permissive parenting

Unfortunately, when growing up, children don't always need their parents to be their "friends." Sometimes they need them as parents! Structure is vital to a child's development. Without it, the child's world can be tough, and can cause children stress/anxiety. On the plus side, children of permissive parents are very self-confident and independent. Since they typically don’t get told, "No," they're more likely to not follow rules they don't agree with. 

Lastly, permissive parents believe that always giving their child what they want is an expression of love. On the contrary, it's guidance and discipline that let a child know that their parents care about the person they'll grow up to be!

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Free-range parenting style

Free-range parenting is like permissive parenting but with purpose. The goal is to instill the children with a sense of independence.

Mostly, they give their children "free-range" to explore and learn by experience. Rather than relying on discipline, they resort to logic and guidance. They guide their children toward the right choices without forcing or punishing them.

The result of free-range parenting

In theory, described as above, it's a great idea. It does teach children to be independent while letting them learn from the consequences of their own choices. The parent is also active in guidance rather than passive, reassuring the child that they have a caring parent who's there for them.

The only problem is that there are no set-in-stone rules for free-range parenting. It's the opposite of a one-size-fits-all parenting style. Therefore, the lines between free-range, permissive, and uninvolved parenting are not easy to see. Some would say that free-range parents trust their children with too much freedom, to the point of endangering them.

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Attachment parenting style

Attachment style parenting specifically concerns the baby/toddler years of childhood. The idea (backed by science) is that closeness, especially physical touch, during these early years positively affect the mental/social/emotional development of the child. This closeness is believed to benefit the child all through the rest of their life.

Actions like breastfeeding, skin-to-skin contact, and minimal separation are all hallmarks of attachment parenting. These parents also respond immediately to crying babies by picking them up and holding them.

The result of attachment parenting

Obviously, this approach is exhausting for the parents (we can’t say we’ve always excelled at this style..). But most experts agree that such children retain strong coping skills and feelings of self-worth for the rest of their lives.

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How will you use this knowledge of parenting styles?

So, which parenting style are you? Keep this guide in mind when you interact with your little ones today. Share this guide if you think it might help someone you know.

Need more parenting tips? Then read How to Set Your Child Up to Be More Inclusive.