You know that positive reinforcement is the best way to encourage good behavior in young kids. But how do you implement it in a consistent way that makes sense to both you and your child? That’s where a reward system with a reward chart comes in. Read on to learn how to set up a reward system that brings out the best in your child.

What is a reward system?

Reward systems use positive reinforcement to help kids develop good habits. In a reward system, kids earn points for good behaviors (like getting ready on time in the morning, walking the dog, or managing their anger) and can exchange those points for rewards (like treats, toys, play time, or even spending money).

One big benefit of reward systems is that they can create positive feedback loops. Once kids are rewarded and celebrated for sticking to a positive behavior, they’ll probably be more cooperative in the future.

What should be included in a child’s reward chart?

One of the key parts of any reward system is a reward chart, which is a place for you and your child to track the reward points they’ve earned.

For older school-age kids, the most important aspect of a reward chart is consistency — if the chart isn’t reliable, the system won’t be either. For younger toddlers and preschoolers, it can also be motivating to make the reward chart more visual. The classic example is a sticker chart: Put a sticker up every time your child performs a targeted behavior or achieves a goal. You can find charts like this online, or you can make your own.

Of course, there are plenty of alternatives to pick and choose from depending on what your child likes. You could use tally marks, a coin jar, or even an app.

How do you set up a reward system?

Ready to set up a reward system for your child? Here’s how to do it in four steps. Remember that throughout the process, communication with your child is essential — make the benefits of the system and your expectations clear, and listen when your child has ideas or feedback.

1. Get your child involved

Would you look at that — step one of setting up your reward system is making your child an active participant in the process! To maximize the system’s effectiveness, customize it based on their personality and interests. Talk with them about what they want to work on (Are they always behind on their homework? Or do they have trouble cleaning up after themselves?) and what kinds of rewards would excite them (Do they want extra video game time? Or would they love a new book?).

2. Choose which behaviors to track and what rewards to offer

Next, it’s time to put your targeted behaviors, rewards, and points exchange rates down on paper. This is only a starting point—be open to revisions if issues arise, but hold firm if your child simply doesn’t like the accountability of the system.

When it comes to tracking behaviors for toddlers and preschoolers, keep it simple by choosing only one age-appropriate behavior at first (like using the bathroom or not whining). Once that behavior is under control, you can move on to another.

For school-age kids, you can track multiple behaviors at once. And don’t forget to adjust the nature of the targeted behaviors as your child gets older — for example, school-age kids might focus on chores or emotional maturity.

3. Adapt the system based on your child’s age 

There’s even more you can adjust in your reward system based on your child’s age. Younger kids can benefit from extra praise (toddlers and preschoolers love pleasing their parents) and reminders (they have short attention spans). Also, be sure to keep wording simple for little ones — instead of complicated terms like “regulating emotions,” use everyday language like “calming down.”

For older kids, depending on what you think would be helpful, you can try introducing new wrinkles to your reward system. You could remove points for bad behavior (if you do, make sure you explain why clearly to your child) or add time sensitivity to combat procrastination (like making the bed in the morning or finishing homework before dinner).

4. Be consistent

When it comes to reward systems, as with most things in parenting, consistency is key. Don’t stray from or bend the system you and your child have set up.

One common pitfall: Don’t use reward points as a bribe to get your child to calm down when they’re acting up. That could encourage them to act out on purpose down the line to try to cheese their way into more rewards.

Your reward system will only work if you stay committed to it. Keep track of your child, document their behavior fairly, celebrate their successes, and remember to enjoy the process!