There is always more room in our lives for a little playfulness, and these funny one liners are a great place to start. They're a great way to connect with your children over some clean comedy.

It's not an easy task to think up jokes on the fly — and sometimes, it doesn't even matter what we say...because every joke is perceived as a dad joke. 

Many young children appreciate the comedy of funny one liners because they're short, snappy, and easy to understand. And if they don't get the joke? Just move onto the next one!

Most of us remember some of the jokes our parents or guardians entertained us with as children. And those old jokes might have made us groan at the time! Here are some family-friendly one-liners you can share with your kids to brighten everyone's day.

Funny one liners to teach your child

We've split up our funny one liners into groups. So no matter what makes your child giggle — whether it's funny animals or jokes about school — odds are they’ll find something hilarious.

Funny animal one liners

Two ants want to fight an elephant. The elephant looks at them and says “Two on one? That’s not fair!”

Hedgehogs: Why can’t they just share the hedge?

Two goats were munching on a movie script. Goat one says, "This is good!" Goat two says, "The book was better."

Two monkeys were getting in the bath. One said, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, aah aah aah!" And the other replied, "Well, put some more cold water in it, then!"

Two goldfish are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”

Two soldiers are in a tank. One looks at the other and says, “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB.”

One of the cows didn’t produce milk today. It was an udder failure.

How do you row a canoe filled with puppies? Bring out the doggy paddle!

Do you know why you never see elephants hiding in treetops? Because they’re really good at it.
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Funny food one liners

Did you hear about the kid who drank eight sodas? He burped 7-Up.

I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.

Two tomatoes are walking down the road. One turns to the other and says, “Be careful there is a truck com...” Splaaaaat!

I lost some weight last month. But it found me again.

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food was good, but there wasn’t much atmosphere.

Did you hear the rumor going around about butter? Never mind — I shouldn’t spread it.

Did you hear about the carrot detective? He always got to the root of every case.

I was going to tell a pizza joke, but it was too cheesy.
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Funny school and work one liners

I started with nothing and I still have most of it.

I used to be a train driver, but I got sidetracked.

There are three types of people: those who can count and those who can’t.

I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.

I’m learning the hokey pokey. Not all of it. But I’ve got the ins and outs.

Getting paid to sleep would be a dream job.

I’m glad I know sign language. It’s pretty handy.

I can only handle 25 letters of the alphabet. I'm not sure why (y).

Would you like to hear a construction joke? Well, you can't; I’m still working on it.

I wanted to do my homework but I broke my pencil, so it was pointless.

There was a kidnapping on a school bus, but it’s fine. He woke up.

My father invented the cold air balloon, but it never really took off.

I got a new job last week as the boss at Old MacDonald’s farm. I’m their new C-I-E-I-O.
 

Funny sports one liners

I just flew into town, and my arms are so tired.

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. And then it hit me.

You shouldn't run around a parking garage. That is wrong on so many different levels.

Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I roll.

When you jump on a trampoline, did you know it changes the season? No matter what time of year, it always becomes springtime.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey, but now I've turned myself around.
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Funny miscellaneous one liners

Have you heard the joke about the roof? Actually, never mind. It would be way over your head!

What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.

My least favorite color is orange. I hate it more than yellow and red combined.

I couldn’t figure out how to fasten my seatbelt… Then it clicked.

I wanted to wear my camouflage pants today, but I just couldn’t find them.

People ask me if I'm an optimist. And I say, "I hope so."

The skeleton knew what would happen next. She could feel it in her bones.

Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.

I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

Did you hear the one about the little mountain? It's hill-arious!

This is my step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents!

6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.

You know what they say about cliffhangers…

Sundays are always a little sad, but the day before is a sadder day.

Don't spell part backward... It's a trap!

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Tell your child these funny one liners today!

Hopefully, you found plenty of family-friendly, funny one liners for a child to laugh along with in our guide. If your child is showing an interest in comedy, it might be time to sign them up for a class, too!

Reach out and let us know if you found any that landed well with your child! Or if you thought of your own, we'd love to hear them.